Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops