What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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