What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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