What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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