I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...