Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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FIRE!!

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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