What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -28

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops