How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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FIRE!!

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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