What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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