How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops