How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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a Jew had a small nose

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88

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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