What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops