What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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