Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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make me a sandwich!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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(insert antijoke here

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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You.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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nick toth

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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