A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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i was molested.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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a Jew had a small nose

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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