why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops