Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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nick toth

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops