What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops