Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Boom.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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