What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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