Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

Dislike this!!!!!!

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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