What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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make me a sandwich!

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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I've got a boner

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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