What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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