how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +38

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

thumb_up thumb_down +63

17

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops