a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +34

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -124

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops