What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Boom.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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