you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Caitlyn.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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