A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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