A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

88

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops