Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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women's rights

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Women's Rights

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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