"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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