Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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i was molested.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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I've got a boner

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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poop.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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