What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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whats annoying and black? black people

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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my bubbles!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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