A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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