What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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i was molested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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