what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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The Bible

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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88

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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