Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops