My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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hi hi strager danger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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