Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +158

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -100

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

thumb_up thumb_down +81

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops