How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Punch line.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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