A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -53

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Whats Obama's last name?

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops