when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops