what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +48

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +36

187

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats Obama's last name?

thumb_up thumb_down +113

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops