Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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