Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -106

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops