A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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240

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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