Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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