Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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i was molested.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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