why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

your moms fat. she's ugly too.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops