Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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a Jew had a small nose

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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