What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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