when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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a Jew had a small nose

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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