What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Women's Rights

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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SNAPPLE!

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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this site is funny.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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