whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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