Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Dylan Eichas

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Lacrosse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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