The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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I've got a boner

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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