Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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I've got a boner

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make me a sandwich!

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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