A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Whats Obama's last name?

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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17

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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(insert antijoke here

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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