Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

17

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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