Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -107

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops