I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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