How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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