What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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