Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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SNAPPLE!

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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