Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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