A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops