Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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