A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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