Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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