What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -55

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down -2

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops