how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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am i invited to party? no

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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this site is funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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