Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops