Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A seal walks into a club...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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pubic lice.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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LIKE THIS!

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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