Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

im gay because im gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

japan4.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +64

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops