Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

make me a sandwich!

your moms fat. she's ugly too.

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

i said wut wut in the butt!

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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