How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

thumb_up thumb_down +92

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops