whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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