A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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hi, im sober.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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LIKE THIS!

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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