A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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hi, im sober.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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am i invited to party? no

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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