Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Arron Glass

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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