- Anti Joke

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

hi hi strager danger

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

A man buys free health care...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops