what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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japan4.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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