Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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