I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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