Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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