You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

this site is funny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

hi hi strager danger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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