What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -204

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +187

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops