A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

An irishman walks out of a pub

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...