A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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whats forever alone me

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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GIVE

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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this site is funny.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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