A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down -62

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +177

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

thumb_up thumb_down -69

How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

thumb_up thumb_down -183

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +170

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops