A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

a

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

whats forever alone me

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

SNAPPLE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...