Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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