Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops