Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Oh

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Arron Glass

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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