what do you say when you see a winner weaner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +105

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -65

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

thumb_up thumb_down +44

SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops