You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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