A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +103

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops