Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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hi, im sober.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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???????????? WTF?

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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