What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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im gay because im gay

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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