Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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