A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Oh

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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A seal walks into a club...

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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