Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

88

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

how long has dibey got left like :)

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

An irishman walks out of a pub

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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