Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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am i invited to party? no

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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