Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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George Bush.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Arron Glass

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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