What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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