What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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How are you this morning?

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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America

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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a

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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170

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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whats forever alone me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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