What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Fat people.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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