Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Fat people.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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