An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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