Sarah Palin

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Justin Bieber.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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Oh

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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