A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -49

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down

That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

thumb_up thumb_down

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops