what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Oh

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Arron Glass

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Justin Bieber.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops