Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

im gay because im gay

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Arron Glass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

if you read this you are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -175

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops