What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Womens rights

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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