What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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hi, im sober.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Sarah Palin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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