Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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if you read this you are gay

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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am i invited to party? no

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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