Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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am i invited to party? no

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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find the meme pepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepe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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops