How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

68

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...