What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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if you read this you are gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops