What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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George Bush.

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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Justin Bieber.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Womens rights

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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