A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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George Bush.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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Women's Rights.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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