So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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George Bush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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