Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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George Bush.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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am i invited to party? no

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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