Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops