There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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