Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -37

The Olympics

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -129

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -171

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +50

69

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops