I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops