what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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385

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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