Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops