Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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68

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170

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops