Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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170

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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