Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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