What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops