roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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boobs

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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call of duty world at war

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops