Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

The Olympics

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

So you there Red?

Where is my tractor?

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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