If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down +157

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

thumb_up thumb_down +63

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

170

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops