A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Miley Cyrus.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops