Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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George Bush.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops