What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Where is my tractor?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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How are you this morning?

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Har har hey

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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