Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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