Where is my tractor?

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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How are you this morning?

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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