why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops