A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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