What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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The Olympics

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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boobs

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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