Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

black people. that is all...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -171

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -195

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +22

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops