Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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I'm hungry.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Are you a tree? No.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops