How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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PATHETIC

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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boobs

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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call of duty world at war

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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