HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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