Where is my tractor?

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Miley Cyrus.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops