What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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call of duty world at war

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Where is my tractor?

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops