What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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