Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

PATHETIC

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Word play, punch-line, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops