Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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