What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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