What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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You

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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