Har har hey

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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