What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

PATHETIC

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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