Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Fat people.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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