why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +77

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

ey can i pick your scabs plzz

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops