Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Women's Rights.

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PATHETIC

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Fat people.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Are you a tree? No.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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