One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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