Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

I have no soul so I must consume yours

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

boobs

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

The Olympics

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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