Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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69

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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George Bush.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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