What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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