How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +81

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -143

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +140

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How are you this morning?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops