I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -46

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops