What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -171

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +56

It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +65

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +49

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops