How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops