How are you this morning?

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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