A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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