If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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So you there Red?

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Where is my tractor?

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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