What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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69

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops