Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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