A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dont look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops