How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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So you there Red?

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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