What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Har har hey

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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