Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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boobs

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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Fat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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