A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Are you a tree? No.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Har har hey

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops