Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf uitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eugfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefniergfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fegfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'agfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8ggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cefnierlrngfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubonggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8hgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o8ggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5sgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cyr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,crhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ctv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cngtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,congtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cjyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ctkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cfnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,clrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[eu'abnrhlfhbcrupkgmgb[urh,ig,jc[itj,gijg,ip,gjijptubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,ceu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,csyr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc8gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df97gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfggfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chvgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[ogfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eugfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cf n,ebrfolcm43-hr4m[uohm=8o'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +189

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +61

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

thumb_up thumb_down +21

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops