Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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How are you this morning?

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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