How are you this morning?

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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