Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Miley Cyrus.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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The Olympics

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops