What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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How are you this morning?

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Fat people.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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call of duty world at war

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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