Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Miley Cyrus.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Fat people.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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