What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Are you a tree? No.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops