Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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boobs

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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