A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Fat people.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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The Olympics

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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