Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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