Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

How are you this morning?

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

Miley Cyrus.

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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