How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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So you there Red?

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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The Olympics

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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20

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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