knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -161

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops