A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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