Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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69

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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68

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Fat people.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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