A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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The Olympics

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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How are you this morning?

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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