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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

The Olympics

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

America

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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