Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Yes.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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