Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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The Olympics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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