Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A man buys free health care...

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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