What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops