What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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call of duty world at war

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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