My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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