What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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