When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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banana

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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