What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Men's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +188

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops