Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Get in the car.

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i like cats

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A man buys free health care...

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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