How are you this morning?

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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The Bible

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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You

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Yes.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Women's Rights.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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