I'm hungry.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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George Bush.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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what sucks? things that suck

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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America

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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