If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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The Bible

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Women's Rights.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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