Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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call of duty world at war

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Men's Rights

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops