How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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