Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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call of duty world at war

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Miley Cyrus.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Women's Rights.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Where is my tractor?

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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America

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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