If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops