How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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5

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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The Olympics

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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