A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

call of duty world at war

A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

Dont look at me.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

George Bush.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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