Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

What's brown and sticky? a stick

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

You

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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