What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A homeless man comes home from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Men's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

thumb_up thumb_down +79

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops