Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +1

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -25

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops