Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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So you there Red?

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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