*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +23

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +1

170

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops