I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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