Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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You

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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if you read this you are gay

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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