why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops