How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops