Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +135

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops