What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Justin Bieber

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Yes.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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