There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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