Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -172

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops