Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Yes.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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