A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

You copy and paster!

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

69

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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