How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -193

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Word play, punch-line, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops