you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -176

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +197

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops