a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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