What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

Justin Bieber

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

You

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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