Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

thumb_up thumb_down -86

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops