Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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