A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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