Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

Women's Rights.

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

Simon says; "You're adopted."

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

Miley Cyrus.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

a black man jumps in a pool.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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