What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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69

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops