A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops