Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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The Olympics

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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