Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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