Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

Men's Rights

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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