Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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