How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

black people. that is all...

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

sexual intercourse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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