A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A man buys free health care...

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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