What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Are you a tree? No.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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