Simon says; "You're adopted."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Women's Rights.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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