Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

thumb_up thumb_down +57

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops