So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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69

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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