Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

a black man jumps in a pool.

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

America

I'm hungry.

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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