What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A man buys free health care...

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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