Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Are you a tree? No.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Yes.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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sexual intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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