My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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385

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Miley Cyrus.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops