What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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You

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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