When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -28

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +197

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops