Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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