Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

Yes.

What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

sexual intercourse.

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

Are you a tree? No.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...