How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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