Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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PATHETIC

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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America

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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