A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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PATHETIC

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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