What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Yes.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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