A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Har har hey

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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PATHETIC

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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