What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Justin Bieber

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops