A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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I'm hungry.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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