You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Simon says; "You're adopted."

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

Justin Bieber

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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