Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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