Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops