A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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sexual intercourse.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Justin Bieber

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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