When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops