What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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