Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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