When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops