whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops