You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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America

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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