How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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what sucks? things that suck

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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