I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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