What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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what sucks? things that suck

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Men's Rights

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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i like cats

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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