what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Men's Rights

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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i like cats

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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what sucks? things that suck

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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