Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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