How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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America

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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