My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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