there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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