How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops