What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Penis.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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