An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Dont look at me.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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I'm hungry.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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