Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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