Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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banana

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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1,984

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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