-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Dont look at me.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Hi

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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1,984

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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