What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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