Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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