a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +27

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -165

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +64

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops