Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Dont look at me.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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