What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -52

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -82

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -164

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops