Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +7

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops