Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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1,984

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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