"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Justin Bieber

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops