Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops