a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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