Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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