what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Justin Bieber

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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