What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Men's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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