What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Justin Bieber

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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i like cats

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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