From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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