What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops