A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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i like cats

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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You copy and paster!

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Hi

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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