A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops