Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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what sucks? things that suck

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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i like cats

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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