whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -113

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +58

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops