did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Dont look at me.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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I'm hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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