A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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