Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

thumb_up thumb_down -50

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops