My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

thumb_up thumb_down -4

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -38

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops