Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Men's Rights

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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I'm hungry.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops