What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Men's Rights

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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i like cats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops