1,984

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Jews...

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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You copy and paster!

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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69

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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i like cats

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops