What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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