The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

4 is half the number 8 is.

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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