A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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