A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Jews...

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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1,984

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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