What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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1,984

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Jews...

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops