4 is half the number 8 is.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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boobs

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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