Get in the car.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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