A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops