A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -54

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -82

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -192

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops