How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops