Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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