Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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1,984

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Get in the car.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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