Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Jews...

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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