Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Dont look at me.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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