Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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