What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Hi

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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1,984

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Jews...

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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