Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You copy and paster!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -116

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops