What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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