Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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i like cats

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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