How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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