what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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