How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A homeless man comes home from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops