A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Hi

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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