Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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