Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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