What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Dont look at me.

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Hi

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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