I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Paige

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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