Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops