Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is your face? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops