If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -57

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops