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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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