2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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1,984

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops