Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops