How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Your mom.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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minced oaths

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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If you were a cactus, why?

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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