Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Politics.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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