how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Cliterus

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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