What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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69

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops