- Anti Joke

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

What time is it? 10:58

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

Terraria

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

your social life.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

this is not a drill.

Black People

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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