What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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