How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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black people

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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