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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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no

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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