Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A seal walks into a club.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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whats 69+2? 71

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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