What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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