Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Women's Rights

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How's the weather? Good.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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