Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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poo

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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