Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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