How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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You're so straight!

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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