What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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