how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Ily bae

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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yada yada

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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