What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza does'nt scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -245

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops