How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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speech and debate.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops