Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops