what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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Lacrosse

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Penis.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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