Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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