Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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your face.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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