Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Thumbs this up

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops