A chicken walks into a barn.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Here's another:

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops