haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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