A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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