What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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