If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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