Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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