whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

66

thumb_up thumb_down +25

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who has no penis Religious Believers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

This one time, at band camp we played in a band

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops