Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Roses are red, yup.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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