What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Indians

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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