what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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Justin Beiber

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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