what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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69.9

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If pro- is the opposite of con-, what is the opposite of progress? regress

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops