What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Brad Fuller!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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