Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why does Beyonce sing, "To the Left, To the Left"? Because black people aint got no RIGHTS

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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