roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops