What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops