What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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13

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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