The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

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A group of 3 black male friends sit down to have lunch at the basketball court. One black man reaches in his pack and pulls out a watermelon. The second black man reaches in his basket and pulls out some fried chicken and a pan of cornbread. They both look expectantly towards their friend as he opens up his pack. Right as he opens it, however, his cell phone goes off. Upon completing the call, he hangs up and looks at his two friends. "My financial aid got approved, guys!" he exclaims. Both of his friends congratulate him on finally making it to college. They are so proud.

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

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Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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