A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

A whole 'nother.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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