What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops