Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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25

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Chinese men having large penis.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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