Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man say to the other man? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops