Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

Knock knock. Death.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

What is my name? I dont know

Is Carly smart? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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