So one time this woman was learning...

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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