An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Niki Minaj's ass

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Women"s Rights

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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