Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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why did the man die? he was shot

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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