A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +28

the guy below me is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

100 chefs walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops