Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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the WNBA

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops