A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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aodhan hearty

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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