what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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