How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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im not food

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Penis.

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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