What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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