Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? "Damn, that's a good apple pie."

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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