when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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GONNA

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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