Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Asians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops