Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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Female Athletics

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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