roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -46

There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops