Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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