A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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david what a baghead

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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brandon ya twwat

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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German sausage is the wurst

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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