There once was a man from Nantucket.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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