8

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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