What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Ebola

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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