Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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