- Anti Joke

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! "So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

i dont fisish anythi

Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

<=3 penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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