A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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apple pie.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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