What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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