Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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