-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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womens rights

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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